Monday, 28 July 2014

Sexuality

This is pretty unlike me, but this is something that's been playing on my mind a fair bit lately, and so this one is a bit of a serious post.

Picture from Google

Sexuality is something I've pondered about a lot, without it really being an issue for me. When Ellen Page publicly came out as gay at Time to THRIVE earlier this year, the video went viral and people all around the world were talking about her bravery and what an example she was for young, gay girls everywhere. Now, don't get me wrong, she is so brave and such a great example but a part of me remains so, so sad that Ellen told the world in the video that she felt she was "lying by omission" by not explicitly admitting to the world earlier that she was gay.

Now, I'm about to say something a little weird. I've made absolutely no attempt to hide the fact that I have a girlfriend on this blog or on my earlier blog, but neither have I ever come out and directly said the words "I am gay". There's one main reason why that is and it's pretty simple; that's not how I identify myself. I am entirely sure that I'm not completely heterosexual, but bisexual never seemed to fit me right either. I suppose technically speaking, now I'm looking at terms, I would fit somewhere around pansexual, meaning I find gender and sex irrelevant in my attraction towards others. Some of you out there might find it strange that I've just had to research my own sexuality term, but the fact is; I've never felt the need to label myself in my own head or otherwise.


When I fell in love with my girlfriend - although it was something that had never really happened to me before - feeling that kind of love towards a member of the same sex - it never really came as a shock either. The fact I was in love with her was just that, a fact, and the fact she was in love with me? Well, that was just a bonus. After we started our relationship, I made the decision to not sit down and come out as gay to my parents. My thinking behind this theory was, and remains to be, that I would never sit them down to announce my relationship with a boyfriend, and therefore it felt unnecessary to do it because the gender was different. Don't get me wrong, I've never made any attempt to hide the relationship, she stays in my single bed nearly every weekend, I bought her valentines presents and presents from holiday and she's coming out to Spain to celebrate my 21st with my entire family in December. I've made no effort to hide the relationship, it isn't a secret, but six months down the line my mother and I have never felt the need to sit down and discuss it in an in depth manner.

So, this is my post. I have not been lying by omission, but nor have I ever come out to the world. I think what I'm trying to achieve is to highlight the fact that there are so many grey areas of sexuality and it strikes me as so sad that in the twenty first century, some young people still feel as though their sexuality defines them. I have been lucky up to this point that everyone in my life has been so loving and so excepting, and I know that not everyone has that kind of support around them. So maybe it's time we worked together to become the generation that makes coming out irrelevant, because sexuality - except for your own - is irrelevant, in my opinion.

What are your opinions on sexuality and the way it's treated?

S xo.
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